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Lawyer Jokes

Money for the Dead (Clean)
Current Rating: 6.87

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An old miser, because of his exceptional thrift, had no friends. Just before he died he called his doctor, lawyer and minister together around his bedside. "I always heard you can't take it with you, but I am going to prove you can," he said. "I have $90,000 in cash under my mattress. It's in three envelopes of $30,000 each. I want each of you to take one envelope now and just before they throw the dirt on me you throw the envelopes in."

The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope into the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the minister said, "I don't feel exactly right, I am going to confess, I needed $10,000 badly for a new church we are building, so I took out $10,000 and threw only $20,000 in the grave."

The doctor said, "I, too, must confess. I am building a clinic and took $20,000 and threw in only $10,000."

The lawyer said, "Gentlemen, I'm surprised, shocked and ashamed of you. I don't see how you could hold out that money. I threw in my personal check for the full amount."

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